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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29621976">I Hate That I Love You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovasArchives/pseuds/NovasArchives'>NovasArchives</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Switched at Birth (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Apparently I'm Decent At Depressing Shit, F/F, I Don't Remember Why I Shipped This, I Remember Nothing About What's Happening, I Wrote This When I Still Watched The Show, One Shot, Sad gays, Written in 2018</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:01:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29621976</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovasArchives/pseuds/NovasArchives</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Thus, I had let out a deep sigh. Shook my head and left without a word.</p><p>I love her.</p><p>A lot.</p><p>And I hate that I do.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bay Kennish/Simone Sinclair</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Hate That I Love You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay before we get into this one-shot, I would just like to quickly fill you in on a few things.</p><p>This account is an archive account, it's where I post my old stories as well as my abandoned stories. I do currently still write - though I will say that the unfinished and just overall bad works definitely outweigh the amount I'm currently working on.</p><p>I have NovasArchives on Wattpad as well (though I do despise the platform quite a bit). Though my old stories aren't in smut territory, I stop trusting a platform when they start deleting stories without warning. Thus, here we are!</p><p>Ironically enough, this fic isn't something I'd consider bad (despite having written this in 2018). Definitely not on par with what I tend to write now, but I don't hate it. I just, don't want this on my main account. I remember little to nothing about this show if I'm being entirely honest, thus it doesn't really reflect any of my current interests or what I'm working on now as a writer.</p><p>I am working on getting everything reposted on Archive Of Our Own, I'm starting with my really old/bad works and slowly working my way up to the more recent stuff.</p><p>Anyways, if you choose to continue reading anyways - I hope you enjoy it. I quickly went through the story with Grammarly to try and make it a little better to read, it wasn't too bad to begin with so I hope it'll be okay.</p><p>If you want to read any of my current works, my main profile is "Constellasaur".</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I remember when I lost her.</p><p>She was my best friend, yet I simply let us grow apart. I let her resent me, hate me.</p><p>It was my fault, I’ve always known that. I shouldn't have put up that video, I vividly remember Bay begging me to delete the video, not humiliate the girl like this.</p><p>But I did it anyway.</p><p>She never forgave me for it.</p><p>It was only a few years later when Daphne came into the picture. She was such a great friend and I fucked that up ad well.</p><p>Then there was Toby. I don't know what void I was thinking I could fulfill. He wasn't her. He was a Kennish, but he wasn't Bay Kennish.</p><p>I let myself cheat on him. I may not have been in the right mind, but I know that doesn't excuse it or make it right. I cheated on Toby with Emmett. I cheated on Toby with Bays boyfriend.</p><p>God, I’m so stupid.</p><p>I often question what I expected when I went to the Kennish household, almost counting my steps as I found my way towards Bays Art studio. The door was open and she was working on a painting.</p><p>I remember what that painting was, a simple sunset. The purple sky soft and peaceful within the piece, the sight seemed to calm my nerves slightly.</p><p>It hadn't taken Bay long to realize I was there. She had turned around, her expression immediately dropping into a deep frown at the sight of me. I really shouldn't be surprised.</p><p>“What do you want Simone? Toby isn't here and I doubt he wants to see you anyways.” the response had been snappy and to the point.</p><p>My stomach was in knots as I tried to find the words to reply, Bays eyes boring into me in what could be described as disgust. It was well deserved, yet it still hurt.</p><p>“I didn't come to see Toby.”</p><p>One of Bays eyebrows had raised immediately.</p><p>“I actually wanted to apologize to you-”</p><p>“Apologize for what!? Having sex with my boyfriend or cheating on my brother!?”</p><p>My mouth had immediately closed shut, hurt etching its way across my face. I deserved that.</p><p>“We aren't friends anymore Simone. I don't want to be friends. You never change, you just keep fucking things up for everyone and you need to just stay out of our lives!”</p><p>It had taken me a moment to get my bearings. Taking in a shaky breath before I responded, my feet taking a risky step forward towards the dark-haired girl as she did. “Bay, I know I can never make up for what I did.” my voice had cracked slightly. “But I never wanted to hurt you.”</p><p>“It’s a little late for that don't you think?”</p><p>I don't know what had gone through my mind at that moment, what made me think my next action would ever be a good idea. Yet I had taken another step forward, my hands moving to her neck, not hesitating to crash my lips to Bays. Desperation laced the kiss I had given her, the other teen had stood still in shock for a moment. Completely shocked by the action.</p><p>I hadn't expected it, but I was surprised to find Bay returning the kiss. Her hands cautiously finding their way to my waist as she kissed me back, almost seeming to want this as much as I did.</p><p>The short moment of bliss didn't last long, Bay pulled away and took a step back. Shocked covered the girl's face and my mind was reeling.</p><p>“I-” Bay choked out, her eyes having scanned over myself as she tried to find her voice. She had run a hand through her curly black hair. “I can't.”</p><p>“Bay-” I started out, feeling the need to apologize or fix this somehow.</p><p>“Simone just leave, please.” there had been desperation in her voice, eyes pleading.</p><p>Thus, I had let out a deep sigh. Shook my head and left without a word.</p><p>I love her.</p><p>A lot.</p><p>And I hate that I do.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed it!</p><p>I don't actually hate this One-Shot. I rarely write in a first-person perspective if I'm being honest, but when I do it's usually when I write angst (and ironically enough, I'm not utter dogshit at it lol).</p><p>Again, if you want to read any of my current works, or just see how I've improved - my main profile is Constellasaur.</p><p>━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━</p><p>Word Count: 680</p></blockquote></div></div>
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